Movie Review
by eternite z
Summary: A theater worker asks Zell if he'll fill in for him...


_Note: The movies mentioned are parodies of the one's actually playing (therefore any scenes described probably don't happen in the actual movie). There are no movie spoilers, but there are some references (uh...very few). I couldn't remember if you're supposed to underline movie titles, use quotes, or italicize, so I just underlined 'em... ^^; Although, these are fictional names, so should I do anything?....Whatever._

________

"Geez, Selphie! I've seen this movie over 80 times! Don't make me go again!" 

The bubbly teen disregarded her friend's pleas and pulled him closer to the theater entrance. "Don't worry, we're not seeing it again! There's this new one out about this guy who gets stranded in a desert after his jeep breaks down, and the only items he has are a ping pong ball and a grandfather clock!" 

"What the hell does he do for 2 hours?" 

"I dunno, that's why ya have'ta see the movie!" 

Zell grumbled defiantly, but didn't resist her pull. They stood in the line for tickets and were quickly helped by a woman wearing a red vest. "Two for Cast Aside. That comes to..." Green digital numbers appeared on the screen in front of the two SeeDs. 

Stunned, Zell immediately stopped flipping through the bills in his wallet. "18.00 gil for two tickets! What do you think you're selling tickets for? The Louvre?!" 

"The Louvre doesn't start until next Friday. Would you like to pre-order your tickets?" 

"No, I would not like to pre-order my tickets!" he retorted in a high, squeaky voice. 

Selphie, obviously embarrassed, pushed Zell aside and handed the cashier the exact amount of change. She then directed him to the snack counter and entered the line. "Hmm....I want some Junior Mints." 

"Junior Lints? That sounds disgusting!" 

"MINTS," she stressed, taking another step closer to the counter. 

"Can I help you?" the man asked, a popcorn scoop in his hand. 

"Yes," began Selphie, "I want a box of Junior Mints and a small Dr. Pepper. Zell?" 

"Are you're hotdogs made fresh?" 

The guy shrugged. "I...guess so." 

"Are they turkey, or beef, or what?" 

"I dunno. A combination, maybe?" 

"I see..." Zell brought a hand to his chin in thought. "I'll take one...er...make that four." 

"Okay." The worker punched the keys of his cash register. "That comes to-" 

"Ahh!" 

Selphie grabbed the wallet from Zell's hand and proceeded to go through his money. "Hush up, and pay the man!" she commanded, handing the cashier two wrinkled bills. She picked up her food, handed Zell his, and they walked over to the ticket-taker. 

"Phone, Rob!" another employee called to the ticket-taker. The man glanced his way, then sprinted over. 

"Let's just go," Zell suggested. 

Selphie grabbed his sleeve. "No, they might think we're sneaking in!" She turned her gaze to the ticket-taker who had just hung up the phone and began running back. 

"There, he's back," she said, stating the obvious. 

"Phil! My wife's gonna have her baby! I gotta go!" 

"Good luck, man!" the other worker yelled back with a friendly wave. 

"Oh, hey, can you take my place?" he questioned excitedly. 

"Sorry, I'm already working double." 

"Damn," Rob muttered. He jumped nervously as he scanned the room. "Kid! Can I ask a favor?" 

"What...?" Zell answered, knowing where this was leading. 

"Will you take my place for the night? I get off at 6:00 and you could keep the pay." 

"I-" 

"Oh, thanks, kid! You're a savior!" He patted Zell's back and then skidded off to the parking lot. 

Selphie cocked her head. "How does he expect to support a family taking tickets?" 

"Well, guess I'm not going to get to see the movie. Drat," he said sarcastically. 

"Aww! You mean you're really going to stand here?" 

"I was entrusted with this duty, and I must carry it out! No tornado, fire, earthquake, or angry mob of lemmings shall distract me from-" 

"Yeah, whatever." She stood silently for a moment, expecting Zell to state that he was just kidding. When he didn't, she sighed in defeat and handed him her ticket. 

Zell turned around and stared down the hall. "Third theater on your left," he said as he pointed out the way. 

"Thanks," she grumbled and headed toward the appropriate entrance. Halfway there, she turned back around and put a hand on her hip. "I'm coming back for you! Don't think you'll escape that easily!" 

________

A young woman and a man strolled over to Zell and looked him over. "Are you the ticket-taker?" she inquired. 

Zell brushed his fist against his shirt. "Yes, ma'am! Proud of it!" 

The woman smiled slightly and handed him their tickets. 

"....Vertical Limitations....Isn't that the movie where all the main characters die in a freak volcano eruption?" 

"What?" 

"Yeah, I saw it last week! There's this blind Australian guy with a dog and they want to climb the world's highest volcano-" 

"I don't want to know what happens!" the man yelled. 

"I didn't give anything away! There's still the part when the heroine sacrifices herself to the volcano gods, and-" 

"Stop!" The couple hastily walked past Zell and into the theater, griping the entire way. 

________

"Here you are, dear." An old woman shakily outstretched her arm and grasped Zell's hand when he took her ticket. 

"....Whoa, you're going to see this?! ...Sounds like something Irvine would watch... Are you _sure_ you got the right movie, ma'am? Maybe you'd rather see All the Pretty Borises. It's a really cool film! See, there's these guys named Boris and they're all extremely pretty-" 

"No, no! _That's_ the movie I want to see!" she stated firmly, pointing to the ticket stub. 

"....Er....eww." He shuddered at the thought, but directed her in the right direction anyway. Zell turned back from watching the woman enter the theater and discovered a crowd of elderly folk. 

"We're all together," a small gray-haired woman said as she gave Zell a pack full of tickets. 

"That's nice." He smiled, nodding his head. "Let's see....oh. You're seeing that movie too?" he questioned, his forehead wrinkling. 

"Yes, our friend Annabelle went in already." 

Zell took a deep breath and jammed the stubs into the tall silver trash receptacle. "Second last down the left hallway." 

A "thank you" resounded from the group as they made their way past the red rope gate. 

Rubbing his neck, Zell sighed. "That was disturbing." 

________

"5:30. Cast Aside should be getting out soon." He switched the foot he was standing on with his right. "Where is everyone? It's Friday night, I thought there'd be more people here." A muffled conversation got louder as three teenage girls walked up to the line. 

"Hi," one greeted flirtatiously. 

"Sup?" 

"S'not much," another answered half laughing. 

Zell nodded slightly. "Cute." 

"We're seeing What Women Think They Want but Aren't Truly Sure that They Want It. Do _you_ know what women want?" she asked, bringing herself inches away from his face. 

"Considering I'm single and have been turned down so many times that Guinness visited me-no, I don't believe I do." 

The blonde paused. "Oh," she spoke in monotone. 

The brunette girl behind her ripped the tickets and gave the appropriate pieces to Zell. 

"First theater on your left," he informed. 

"Thanks, sweetie." 

"Sweetie?" Selphie raised her eyebrows in disbelief. 

Laughing nervously, but acting proudly at the same time, Zell shrugged and directed Selphie out of the theater exit and into the lounge. "I'm done in about 5 minutes, okay?" She nodded in agreement. "How was the flick?" 

"It was sooooo good! My favorite part was when he made sandals out of cactus and lizard skin!" 

"How the hell did he manage that?" 

"Manage what?" 

"Making sandals." 

"He never made sandals." 

"You just said he did." 

"No I didn't." She shook her head objectively. 

"Yes you did!" 

"No..." 

".....All right. Who was your favorite character?" 

"The ping pong ball!" 

"That's....interesting..." 

"I'm serious! The ping pong ball played a major role in his survival!" 

Zell glanced at his watch. "6:00! I'm gonna pick up my cash and get outta here!" 

They walked together into the middle of the room. "So what time is convenient for you tomorrow?" she questioned. 

"What do you mean?" 

"We're going to see Cast Aside, remember? You missed it today, and I know how much you wanna see it." 

His face drooped as he stared at her. "You don't give up, do you?" 

She grinned wider. "Nopers." 

________

Wow. My mind's been adrift. I probably didn't capitalize the whole "what women want" thing correctly. Ah, well. Yeah, I know it's short, but I had the idea stuck in my head for a while, and wanted to get rid of it. ^-^ 


End file.
